The Unspoken Rule: What’s Your Mother’s Name?

Have you ever noticed the name game some Arab men play with moms, wives, and sisters? It’s like a secret society that’s so hush-hush, even MI6 would be jealous! Let’s spill the beans on why Arab men avoid mothers’ names and treat female family members like Voldemort – she who must not be named!

Why do Arab men avoid mothers’ names?

There are many reasons why Arab men may avoid mentioning their mothers’ names. However, it is important to note that not all Arab men have an issue with this, even though it is a common phenomenon. Here are some reasons behind this behavior:

Respect, my friend

Instead of saying their names, some Arab men get very creative with how they refer to their mothers and wives. These terms vary across regions, reflecting cultural nuances. Here’s a breakdown:

How they refer to their mothers:

الوالدة (the mother) in Egyptian and الوالدة in Levantine Arabic
الحاجّة (the respected lady) in Egyptian and الحجّة in Levantine
أم فلان (mother of so-and-so) in Egyptian and Levantine

How they refer to their wives:

الجماعة (the company) in Egyptian
المدام (madam) in Egyptian and Levantine
العيلة (the family) in Levantine
أم العيال (mother of my children) in Egyptian
أم الولاد (mother of my children) in Levantine
الحكومة (the government) in Egyptian and الحكومة in Levantine

This practice is rooted in a cultural code of respect and protection.

Note: The word فلان in Arabic means X or someone.

Jealousy overload

Some Arab men can be overprotective of the females in their families. They’re often concerned about the possibility of gossip or even insults being directed at them. To avoid حسد (enviousness or jealousy) and to protect their loved ones, they may keep the women’s real names private. For instance, when asked about their wife’s name, a man might reply, “Oh, she’s ‘The Company’ to me!”(جماعتي) It’s no wonder Arab men avoid mothers’ names – they might as well be guarding state secrets! 🧿

Regional remix

The Arab world is a diverse and vibrant region, home to people with a wide range of perspectives and viewpoints. In some areas, people tend to be more relaxed about traditions, while in others, cultural norms can be more conservative. These traditions are deeply rooted across the region, and out of a desire to avoid social criticism or judgment, many choose to adhere closely to established customs.

Black magic

Another compelling reason behind Arabs’ reluctance to mention their mothers’ names is the fear of magical practices السحر الأسود (black magic) or عمل سفلي (lower magic) used by some individuals with ill intentions. There is a belief that by saying their mothers’ names openly, they expose them to potential harm. Some wicked individuals might exploit this information to perform magical rituals aimed at the person or their family. Some think if you say their moms’ names out loud, an evil sorcerer could curse their family. So, they zip it to keep it safe and hope no witches are listening.

History buffs

The Arab world has some serious history, and women have often been sidelined, as they have been around the world. So, this name thing? It’s like a relic of the past. Consequently, the practice of not mentioning female close relatives’ names in public is considered as an implicit continuation of a long history of oppression. It’s time for a name makeover, folks!

Gulf of misunderstanding

You know when many Arabs went to work in the Gulf in the 70s and 80s? They brought back more than just money 💸. They also brought back a love for tradition and conservatism prevalent in these countries. Now, they’re going all-in on this name game, turning أمي (Mom) into الحكومة (The Government.)

In conclusion, the hesitation among Arab men to mention the names of their mothers and wives in public is a complex cultural phenomenon shaped by deep-rooted historical, regional, and societal factors. Across the Arab world, this cultural nuance can be seen as both an expression of respect and protection, while others view it as a tradition rooted in ancient values that may no longer align with modern sensibilities.

For more insights on cultural traditions, read our article “Arab Family Relationships: Unlocking the Code“.

Time to have a good laugh and rethink this whole name-hushing gig! Check this short interview, (aimed at re-evaluating this practice in a modern light) with some Egyptian men and see their puzzled reactions when asked about their mothers’ names!

A street interview from Egypt asking people about their mothers’ names – watch their reactions! Don’t miss the full video to see how it ends.

Watch full video

Oh, and by the way…

If learning Arabic at your own pace, with fun, real-world videos sounds like your style, then Playaling could be exactly what you’re looking for!

With Playaling, you’ll dive into any major Arabic dialect or MSA. Our diverse range of videos has it all—from everyday conversations and cultural moments to music videos, TV and movie clips, influencer content, news broadcasts, and inspiring talks.

Our interactive captions let you tap any word for instant translations, context, and audio. So, real Arabic content becomes accessible with just a click. Miss something? No problem—rewind and listen as often as you need, or hover over subtitles for quick definitions.